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Suffering and Love


Through suffering we find true love...

This picture was taken about two years ago. I was in a terrible flare and my Grandmother, "Doe" was suffering from pulmonary fibrosis. As a child when I was hurt or didn't feel well, I would crawl up in her lap and she would pat my back and sing to me. I remember just breathing her in and almost feeling as if we were one in spirit somehow. No matter what I was going through, she always made it seem okay. She was always on my side and I knew she loved me with a love so fierce, that she would do everything and anything to make sure I was safe and taken care of.  For those of you who watch Grey's Anatomy, she was "my person". 

My world was shaken when she passed away last year on September 21st. This picture popped up in my newsfeed today and it made me reflect on the true meaning of suffering and it's purpose in this life. No one likes to suffer, and no one wants to see anyone they love suffer, but if we can take our suffering, use it to bring us closer to God and to one another, it can bring us to be more like Christ. We will find a love so powerful that our suffering become a gift. 

This picture was taken by my mother. Both Doe and I were unaware that it was being taken. I am eternally grateful that my mom took it. When I look at it now, I see two people who are tired of feeling so sick. We clung to each other and for a brief moment felt some relief from our pain. The love we shared was stronger than any pain and suffering we were enduring.  While I do not enjoy suffering, I would not change what I have gone through.   I choose to walk with Christ no matter what I go through in this life. 


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