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Medicine vs. Pain: who will win?



I can vaguely remember a time when I was scared to take more than one pill at a time. I was kinda brought up believing that only the weak take medicines. It was better to just "tough it out". After I was diagnosed with my autoimmune conditions, the medicines just kept multiplying! In the beginning I decided that I was going to change my diet, use essential oils, and make my diseases disappear. I tried to talk to my doctor and see what he thought about my decision. Long story short he told me to go ahead and do what I wanted to do, but I was NOT going to stop taking any medications. He informed me that my diseases, RA and Lupus are very aggressive and if we did not treat them aggressively, they would harm my body more than any medication could. I went home that day feeling defeated.
The next morning I was sitting in a chair feeling like I was on my death bed. My 5 year daughter asked me to brush her hair and put it in a ponytail for her. When I started to brush her hair it took all I had just to lift the hairbrush. It was like every joint in my hands, wrists, and shoulders were on fire. After she left for school, I sat in my room and just cried. How could I be a good mother if I couldn't even brush my babies hair?
This moment was an important one for me... I decided that from that moment on that I would take whatever medications needed to feel better. With determination to feel somewhat normal, I was going to take anything my doctor prescribed so that I could take care of my family. Now when I look at the mound of medications I take on a daily basis, I no longer feel weak. I feel strong and determined. I feel hope. Hope that one day, one of these medicines, injections, or patches will start to work. Hope that one day I will find the medication that controls my inflammation and brings my Vectra DA score down.
So far, no medications have won the battle. I believe the next route is a biologic. Until then, I am so grateful for my pain medication. Without that, most days would consist of me curled up in a fetal position in excruciating pain. Pain medicines allow me to function. I am however very interested in the use of medical marijuana. Although I have not tried it yet, I can promise you that I will vote YES when that comes up on a ballot. I have done my research and feel as though it may help me manage my pain better and more safely that the pain medications I currently take.
In closing, pain may be winning the battle now but I have HOPE that medication will win the final round.

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